Mommas, stop putting yourself last

Moms, what does self care mean to you?

For me it used to mean face masks, painting my nails, or maybe a hot bath with a glass of wine.

Now that I’ve been a mom and wife for 10+ years my definition has definitely changed.

These days it leans more toward hiding in my closet to eat the last cupcake, or taking a night off from cooking. Really it’s just me, making a conscious effort to not put myself last.
Seems obvious but sometimes self care is just remembering to take care of yourself, and knowing that it’s ok to put yourself first every once in a while.
As moms we have the desire to take care of everyone else around us first, make sure they’re happy, make sure they have everything they need. Of course this is admirable and exactly how we’re designed.

But ladies, we are killing ourselves!

Taking time for yourself isn’t selfish. It’s SELF CARE.

I’ll say it a little louder for the mommas in the back!

Taking time for yourself isn’t selfish, IT IS SELF CARE!

We need time to refill our tanks so that we can continue filling the tanks of those around us. Isn’t this preached at the beginning of every flight you take? Put your oxygen mask on first right?! So it must be important!

I know all this. I really do. But I still repeatedly fail at self care.

Over and over.

If you’re familiar with the enneagram at all I’m a 2.

And 2s are givers.

Givers to a fault, and most times at the detriment of themselves.

Perfect example, back in April I signed up to try out Pilates at the Club Pilates that had just opened down the street.

I thought it would be so easy to attend classes because of it’s proximity to me.

I took my free introductory class and fell in love. Like really fell in love.

I felt so invigorated after that first class. I came home feeling amazing and busting at the seams to go back.

Then life happened.

May is notoriously busy as it’s the last month of school. I was exhausted and had no brain cells to spare after planning class parties, teacher gifts, and answering dozens of parent questions (homeroom mom life am I right??).

Soon school was out and I just knew I could make it happen. I was pumped and ready. However, my husband’s work schedule had other plans. Late nights and a stressed spouse made night time trips to the Pilates studio impossible. And when he was home at a normal time I hated to put him in charge of the kids.

Then there were vacations and slumber parties and general summer shenanigans.

Before I knew it almost three months went by and I had not made it back to Pilates.

I wanted to do it, desperately. I just couldn’t make the time.

This is absolutely not a reflection on my husband. He would tell me to go, but I won’t ask.

It’s me. I will always, always sacrifice what I want for my loved ones, it’s how I am built.

And it is a vicious cycle.

I put myself last to “better” my family.

The crazy thing about that logic is the self I am giving to my family isn’t better because I’m exhausted from not taking care of me!

Y’all. It is time for a change. A movement if you will.

Do something for you. Anything.

Start small.

Start big.

Just start.

Listen, I am 100% talking to me. I am so bad about this it’s literally not funny.

But I am also talking to all my momma friends out there.

I see you.

I know you don’t always put yourself first. Or even second.

Let’s change that!

I have chosen two ways to start taking care of me, and I encourage you all to do the same thing.

First I’m setting aside time to do a daily devotion.

Every morning, Monday-Friday. Come rain or shine or cranky kids I will make it happen.

As of this post I’ve been doing it for 3 weeks and it honestly sets such a nice tone for my day.

Most days I’ve gotten to do it uninterrupted but as seen here I did have a helper one morning.

You know what? That’s ok. I still had my time with God and I still took care of me and honestly it felt amazing!

You know what else feels pretty amazing? Being able to turn to any book of the bible with ease thanks to my new bible tabs from Dear Madaline Designs! I was always stumbling around trying to find what I needed, but not anymore! Y’all know paper products thrill me, and if they help me keep my promise to have my daily devotion each day then heck yeah!

Second, I will make time for Pilates.

My husband and I have discussed our week and found days that no matter what, he will be home in time for me to go to class.

Will it be easy? Most definitely not.

Will I feel immense guilt when he has had a terrible day and still holds true to our agreement? Absolutely.

But this is my hangup. Not his. I will squash down anything that pops up.

I have so many more grand plans for taking care of me.

However, I know my personality. If I don’t start small I will fail at it all.

So for now I am sticking to these two that are most important to me and I’ll see how I do!

How about you? What can you do to take care of you?

I would love if we all made a commitment to ourselves. Just every once in a while Momma, put you first. Join me on social media with the tag #puttingmommafirst and let’s do this together!

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